Don’t Telephone Don’t Telegraph Lyrics & Chords By Tex Williams

If you wanna spread the news
theres a lotta ways to use
but the ordinary ways
are much to slow
there is just one thing to do
here is my advice to you
confidentially it's the fastest way i know
dont telephone, dont telegraph
tell a woman and the news will get around
dont telephone, dont telegraph
tell a woman and she'll really go to town
all my life i didn't think
it was wrong to take a drink
til one day my gal found out and I was sunk
seems the woman spread the word
and the next thing that I heard
they were saying I was in the gutter drunk
(call a cop)
Telephone (no, no), Telegraph (never, never)
Tell a woman if you want to advertise
tell a woman and she'll build it up with lies
Now my gal and I would spark
every evening after dark
And one night I said please be my honey bee
(buzz, buzz)
Later on I changed my mind
but it didn't work I find
cause she slapped a breach of promise suit on me
tell a woman and she'll tear your heart in two
tell a woman but you're crazy if you do
Saw the cutest blonde one day
dancin' in a cabaret
and she swung her hips around from a to z
(a, b, c, d, e all night)
it didn't mean a thing
if you haven't got that swing
so she turned around and took a swing at me
Tell a woman and she'll put you in your place
Tell a woman and she'll slap you in the face