I'm British Lyrics & Chords By Professor Elemental

I begin every sentence with an apology.
Sorry that's the case. That's just British policy.
Probably the case with, Everything in honesty.
I use ten words when two would do, honestly.
I'm British.
And that makes me unique.
At least I think so, when I hear you speak.
See we used to have an empire, but we got a little cocky.
Like haha, Johnny parla, I'd like to see you stop me.
And sure enough, we grew our problem.
Now in every town, all the drunk teens stumble.
I'm rather glad really, it may look all humble.
Coming and ask me where I'm from, dear boy, I wont mumble.
I'm British.
I don't want to be fantastic.
Just adequate, and if I'm nice it's probably sarcastic.
ridiculously cynical that's what we're like.
If you can't take a joke, get on your bike.
I'm British.
Like a clotted Cream Tea.
Aplogogetic, moddest answer then you must be me.
I'm British.
Like the wicked's in Cricket's.
Like crikey, blimey, nice one, wicked.
I'm British.
those are fat dave in a panto.
Like woodhouse, oh well, wells and toe
So if you're down with the Brits then make some noise.
But if you'd rather not, that's fine.
We're ever so nice to our pets.
And we know not to work too hard.
We're inventive, accepting, eccentric.
And yes, I suppose we're a bit bizarre.
But if you delight in celebrities taken down.
Just because of the way they live.
Or you can feel bleek joy in a sea side town as the rain pours down on your chips.
Or you can drink ten pints of admimos.
Without ever breaking your stride.
Or repress your emotions and passions.
And bury them deep inside.
Then I've kept a room in a crowd B&B.
With a TV that only shows BBC2.
And I have the key right here.
I've been keeping them just for you.
I'm british.
As williams, James, hatty Jakes.
Schooled in us roast in us massive cakes.
I'm British.
As a chimney sweep.
Chip chip cheery.
Or a professor in a pivot company by Chimpanzee's.
So there's no doubt we're the Brits That put your hands in the air.
But if you'd rather not, that's fine, actually.
I mean I don't want to cause too much of a fuss.