Sign Lyrics & Chords By Carol Burnett

WARBUCKS
Miss Hannigan! You need to sign a paper.

MISS HANNIGAN
Mr. Warbucks, do you know something for a Republican you are sinfully handsome.

WARBUCKS
Thank you.

MISS HANNIGAN
Why I just go absolutely weak in the knees over men like you.

My GOD, is that thing real?

WARBUCKS
Just sign the papers.

MISS HANNIGAN
Don't you wanna see the bedroom, my little billiard ball?

WARBUCKS
Sign.

MISS HANNIGAN
I make a very dry martini.

WARBUCKS
Right here.

MISS HANNIGAN
I make a very wet souffle.

WARBUCKS
Just your name.

MISS HANNIGAN
Don't be so mean, you mean ole meanie.

WARBUCKS
Come, my dear.

MISS HANNIGAN
Let's you and me make, why shouldn't we make haste?

WARBUCKS
I have an appointment at 1.

MISS HANNIGAN
This way...

You ever been to Bonus Ires?

WARBUCKS
Where?

MISS HANNIGAN
A hunger for the Argentyne?

WARBUCKS
ArgenTINE.

MISS HANNIGAN
Let's me and you fill up our diaries

WARBUCKS
What? Stop!

MISS HANNIGAN
Buy me a ruby

WARBUCKS
No!

MISS HANNIGAN
Why shouldn't you be mine?

WARBUCKS
Come

MISS HANNIGAN
I've got your numbah

WARBUCKS
Close

MISS HANNIGAN
Ya like to rhumba

WARBUCKS
madam, while

MISS HANNIGAN
I'll call you Ollie

WARBUCKS
We

MISS HANNIGAN
My hot tamale

WARBUCKS
Pry through this

MISS HANNIGAN
And now I've gotcha

WARBUCKS
File

MISS HANNIGAN
My cucaracha

WARBUCKS
From my pri-

MISS HANNIGAN
Oh!

WARBUCKS
-vate

MISS HANNIGAN
Ooh!

WARBUCKS
eye.

MISS HANNIGAN
Ay ya ya!

WARBUCKS
You spend your evenings in the shanties,

MISS HANNIGAN
You had me followed?

WARBUCKS
Imbibing quarts of bathtub gin.

MISS HANNIGAN
Bronchitis.

WARBUCKS
And here you're dancing in your scanties.

MISS HANNIGAN
Great gams.

WARBUCKS
With some old geezer called Little Caesar.

MISS HANNIGAN
He's an uncle!

WARBUCKS
You lock the orphans in the closet.

MISS HANNIGAN
They love it!

WARBUCKS
You hock their Christmas souvenirs.

MISS HANNIGAN
Drink?

WARBUCKS
You steal the funds you should deposit

MISS HANNIGAN
It's fresh...

WARBUCKS
You make them grovel, while you buy lavaliers.

You'll

MISS HANNIGAN
Must you upset me

WARBUCKS
Sit

MISS HANNIGAN
Why don't you pet me?

WARBUCKS
Out this

MISS HANNIGAN
It's you I crave now

WARBUCKS
Century

MISS HANNIGAN
Let's misbehave now

WARBUCKS
In some

MISS HANNIGAN
You wanna smoochie

WARBUCKS
Deep dark

MISS HANNIGAN
my little poochie?

WARBUCKS
Penitentiary

MISS HANNIGAN
Jail!?

WARBUCKS
Sign.

MISS HANNIGAN
I guess I'll never know the feeling

WARBUCKS
You'll rot in jail

MISS HANNIGAN
of running fingers through your hair.

WARBUCKS
In Sing-Sing.

MISS HANNIGAN
I guess this means no Buenos Aires.

WARBUCKS
Will you sign?!

MISS HANNIGAN
Well I don't need ya!

WARBUCKS
That's fine.

MISS HANNIGAN
So just forget me!

WARBUCKS
The dotted line

MISS HANNIGAN
Forget my sweetness!

WARBUCKS
Don't whine!

MISS HANNIGAN
Forget you met me!

WARBUCKS
You can't decline!

MISS HANNIGAN
This day is sorta

WARBUCKS
Just sign!

MISS HANNIGAN
like Britain Waterloo.

WARBUCKS
Sign!

MISS HANNIGAN
Why didn't you say so in the first place. Swine!