The Short-haired Police Cadet Lyrics & Chords By Billy Connolly

(spoken) The world today seems absolutley crackers, With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing, and...read more

I think about having kids. I'd love to have some kids. I've been thinking about kids. I wanna have like 19 kids. I think naming them, that's gonna be fun. Whatever the names you...read more

So I was walking into whole foods recently, I don’t grocery shop there, it’s too expensive, but I love the smell of lavender so it’s where I get my laundry detergent. Normally...read more

Had to use a public restroom today... ugh. Isn't that the worst when you have to? Godamnit... you j walk in, right. Here's the first thing, I don't care. ...read more

Her: Oh doctor, I'm in trouble. Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Her: For every time a certain man Is standing next to me. Him: Mmm? Her: A flush comes to my face And my...read more