Thrifty Beatnik Lyrics & Chords By Dan Bull

Hello everybody!
Today we're going to be talking all about clothes
They say clothes maketh the man
and I'm rough around the edges so I get them second hand
I'm a Dapper Dan, mon capitan
but I can hardly afford food, it might as well be Ramadan
Not an Islamic man, but I belive in charity
and that's the reason that I need my meagre salary to feed me calories
I could eat a bag of sweets until my teeth have cavities and I'm in bleeding agony
The reason for this allegory; cuisine-themed analogy
is so you can see there's really not much cash left for vanity
My malady's a lack of pounds and piece
As an impoverished musician, food isn't guaranteed, apparently
so my apparel needs value
unlike the brands TV ads try and sell you
I don't want to be a walking billboard
that's not what the reason that I walk this world's for
I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear
I've just got too many nice clothes...
Stuff from Oxfam? I've got lots, fam
Enough to fill up a rather large box
Pants? to tophats and shoes to socks
Dan's the dude to rock that used luminous jockstrap
Perusing the hotpants and choosing them off racks
I don't mean to be rude but God damn, I'm hot, man
I've got a bit of a tummy so this is fitting funny
But I don't give a shit cos of how sick I'm spitting, dunny
See me, I'm a thrifty beatnik, I got this whole outfit for fifty three quid
so if you need kit for a minimal fee, it's as simple as one click, two click, three click
Fork out a little bit of moolah for new garms
if anybody says it's not enough, they're chatting rhubard
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah
Zip-a-Dee-Ay
You want a dead fellow's wardrobe? Bid on eBay
I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear
I'm low on cheddar and so I'm going second hand
'til I compose a better plan for dressing, man
Wearing a garish tracksuit with a pair of jackboots
family staring, thinking "Dan, where... is that you?
I put myself on eBay, but the winner didn't pay me though
I'm nearly at the stage that I'll be broke and made to sew
I'd make my own clothes but I'm a lazybones
Given my own way I'd stay in my baby grow until I weigh like eighty stone
so whether you like eighties clothes or ladies' coats, get them second hand
they're fresher than a daily show
so get your daily dose of an amazing change of clothes
you'll be smooth and razor sharp like using shaving foam
I say stay away from those mainstream label trading posts
Once I saw a tie twice the price of a stately home
If you aren't on the gravy train so can't pour the gravy boat all over the pastry dough
You know the place to go
I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I'd go out tonight but I simply can't decide what to wear