Toes Lyrics & Chords By The Wet Spots

I've had eight hundred fifty seven lovers
And you're certainly the greatest of them all
You make me more than whimper like no other
You take me on the floor and off the wall
You're like an acrobat from poon tang circus
I've never even seen you wearing clothes
There's just one thing I need to make it perfect
Come, wrap your arms around me, listen close
Don't lick my toes
It's disgusting and disturbing
It's upsetting and unnerving
All the things you could be perving on
Why must you choosing toes?
I'm not a prude
I don't mind kinky hanky panky
You can pee on me or spank me
With a second hand umbrella
But you'd better listen, fella
I should tell you right from hello
There's no way I'll let you tongue the yellow pustulating sores and blisters in between my toes
Don't lick my toes
It's repulsive and I hate it
It's completely overrated
I don't know if I can state it any clearer
Come no nearer
Oh do you hear, oh maybe you're some kind of idiot or something
I don't know!
Don't lick my toes
I know you've seen it in the pornos
You don't see me licking your toes
Maybe this should be some kind of indication to you that maybe it's not something I'm into
It doesn't make me feel sexy
I don't even feel like living when this sort of thing starts to happen to me
You know what it feels like?
It feels like being flossed with warm liver, you know
Or stepping in something in the night!
You're expectant and erect
And all I think is disinfectant
Mouthwash won't disguise the scent of all the fungus and the sweat
And all the filthy streets I've walked upon
The stench inside my socks
Upon he grave of my grandmother
Won't you please just find another way to show me your urbanity
And stop with this insanity!
The door is shut
The way is closed
What don't you get?
I think it's gross
I'm indisposed!
Don't lick my toes
(Lick my toes)