I Wanted To Open The Same Way Giuliani Opened Lyrics & Chords By Jon Stewart

(Carlin:) Say, why not become a schmuck? A licensed, practicing schmuck. Or, if you qualify, a CPS. That's right. A certified public schmuck. Y'know, it may not seem like it when you...read more

Crow T. Robot I'm confused. Uh, just who is this Godzilla guy? Tom Servo Yes, wise one. Please, teach us. Joel Robinson I don't know if you're ready for this. Tom/Crow ...read more

Dashing through the sand With a bomb strapped to my back. I have a nasty plan For Christmas in Iraq. I got through checkpoint A, But not through checkpoint B. That's when I...read more

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy Living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You...read more

Performed by Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, and Jon Rosenburg Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You ...read more