Joseph Smith American Moses Lyrics & Chords By Nikki M. James
NABULUNGI
And now, we wish to honor you with the story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses!
MORMON LEADER
Well this is very good; praise Christ.
CHORUS
Moooooormon
NABULUNGI
I'm going to take you back in time (Mormon)
To the United States, 1823 (Mormon)
A small and poor village called Oopstate New York (Oopstate)
There was disease and famine (so sick)
But also in this village lived a simple farmer who would change everything
His name... was Joseph Smith
CHORUS
Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya
Joseph Smith, American Moses
Praise be to Joseph, American prophet man
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Aye! My name is Joseph Smith, and I am going to fuck this baby!
MORMON LEADER
What!?
CHORUS
No no Joseph, don't fuck the baby
Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby
NABULUNGI
Suddenly the clouds parted and Joseph Smith was visited by God!
GOD (AFRICAN MAN)
Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby
I'll get rid of your AIDS, if you fuck this frog
CHORUS
Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya
NABULUNGI
Joseph Smith fucked the frog God gave him and his AIDS went away!
Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship Enterprise
MORONI (AFRICAN MAN)
Joseph Smith, your village is shit
You shall lead the villagers to a new village
Take these fucking golden plates (awaaaaay)
NABULUNGI
And on the plates were written the directions to a new land,
Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)
Joseph tried to convince all the villagers to follow him and his golden plates
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Liberation! Equality! No more slavery for Oopstate Mormon people!
I got the golden plates (gold plates)
I'm gonna lead the people (we head west)
We gotta stick together (Mormons)
We gotta help each other (we're Mormons)
And so we climb the mountain (we head west)
And we cross the river (we head west)
And we fight the oppression (Mormons)
By being nice to everyone (we are Mormons)
BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN)
Not so fast Mormons, you shall not pass my mountain!
CHORUS
Down from the mountain look who comes the American warlord Brigham Young!
BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN)
Yeeeeeeeeees! I am Brigham Young!
I cut off my daughter's clitoris!
That made God angry so he turned my nose into a clit, for punishment!
CHORUS
Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris
What will you do Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris man?
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Not fight him, help him (ooooooohhh)
NABULUNGI
Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog
And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face
And behold, Brigham was cuuuuuuured!
CHORUS
Joseph Smith, magical AIDS frog
Brigham Young, frog on his clit face
NABULUNGI
Brigham Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons on their journey
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Compassion!
BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN)
Courtesy!
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!
I got the golden plates (gold plates)
I'm gonna lead the people (we head west)
We gotta stick together (Mormons)
NABULUNGI
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (oooooohhh)
After traveling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water
And become sick... with dysentery
CHORUS
Mormon go to the water, water go to the cup
Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt
Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Uuughh, oh fuck!
NABULUNGI
Oh no, the prophet Joseph Smith is now getting siiiick!
CHORUS
Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach
Blood come out the butt, blood go in the water
Water go in the cup, cup go to the tongue
Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth
Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt
JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN)
Brigham Young, you must take the golden plates
And lead the Mormons to the Promised Laaaaand...pfffffhhhtt
BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN)
Desperation! Mortality! Loss of faith!
IIIIIIIIIIIIII got the golden plates (gold plates)
I'm gonna lead the people (we head West)
We gotta stick together... (Mormons)
NABULUNGI
Even though their prophet had died, the Mormons stuck together
And helped each other, and were really nice to everyone they came across
And then one day the Mormons finally found
Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)
And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks and were greeted by Jesus!
JESUS (AFRICAN MAN)
Welcome Mormons!
Now, let's all have as many babies as we can
And make big Mormon families!
CHORUS
Fuck your woman, fuck your man, it is all part of God's plan
Mormons fuck all that they can
We're in Salt Lake City land
Thank you, thank you God, but now we are fucking
Thank you, thank you God, but God wants us fucking
Thank you, thank you God, but get back to fucking
Thank you, thank you God!
Joseph Smith fuck frog
Brigham Young clit face
Shit come out the butt
Jesus says fuck, fuck,
Mormons!!
