Short And Curlies Lyrics & Chords By Barstool Prophets

Short & Curlies
Sitting on a barstool in the middle of the afternoon
Pondering my existence, and exactly what it was you said to me
My bottle holds no answers
So I tell the man I’d like another one
This one too is of no help to me
So I kill it, pay, and then I leave
I cross the street against the light
And interrupt the bussle of the boulevard
I pass a burn with upturned palm
Who amazingly appears worse off than me
His pleas are met with ignorance
By many of passersby this afternoon
So I give him all of my pocket change
And earn his eternal gratitude
Because life has got him firmly by the short and curlies
Turn the corner up the block
And come upon a woman, who you could say I’ve known before
Her name has been Candi, And Sunni
I think this time I’ll call her Crystal
She asks me if I’d like to see a trick or two
And I say “Yes” because magic excites me greatly, don’t you know
A nearby man walks up to us and arrest us
It’s her third of spermy in her short and curlies
So I’m sitting in my jail cell a little late on the afternoon
And I’m listening to this jackass who’s telling me
The vital part of family played
The in taming of the new world
I grab him by the throat; push him up against the wall
And say, “Man I’m not having a very nice day!”
He says ten words to me
And those are ten words that I will never forget
He said, “Life has got us firmly by the short and curlies.”