The Chronicles Of Shreve Lyrics & Chords By The Ill-fitting Garibaldis

Part 1: “Memories Of Shreve”
“And what is there to do in that fateful land of Shreve
We dance and sing and covort with the banshees
For the wizards know that deep down within
An evil wind doth blow and in that air comes disease
Dance (mother mother) sing (brother brother)
In perfect harmony we wail
I jump through the trees into a new land
This isn't a wardrobe...”

Part 2: “Seaman's Mantra”
Forty days and forty nights
We sail these seas of fishy delights
And munch-munch-munch on a mackerel or two
For we are the pirates of the deep blue

Part 3: “Upon The Heath”
“It was a clouded day when they met upon the heath. The pirates in their salt-sprayed leggins, the creatures of the wood - dressed in purple and olive, the colours of the King. The clocks looked on as time stood still. A battle eminent, of this I was sure - but all of a sudden, something stirred to the West...”

Part 4: “Cows Of War”
We are the bovines and we bring mutilation
Stamping on the face of every man
We are the bovines we want vengeance
Thoust are fine but we are thine -
and thou dost keep a' callin'

Part 5: The Battle of Shreve
(9:55) “The battle was almighty. Oh yes it was! A slaughterhouse for all involved. It's impossible to tell who won or lost, it's not important though for this is the land of Shreve - the one place in space where no-one wins and no-one loses.”

Part 6: Afterwords
“We continue our story with one of the few survivors of the epic battle just witnessed. Twelve decimonths have passed and young Turk O'Flanigan roams the moors, trying to remember the events of the not-so-or-maybe-so-recent-past...”
Part 7: Wrath o'O'Flanigan [10:44]
But a calf in this troublesome place
My family died, without a trace
They say a battle here ensued
The land is destroyed, bear and crued
Across the horizon, I see a shape
A wizard's hat and sleeve's that drape
Could this be the man that killed my father?
I better murder him, then I'll find out!

Part 8: Journey's End
Just a lonely cow
Living in this wiped out land
I've got wizard's hat too disguise my face
Just a short way home
Been searching for so many months
Can't wait to return to my family -
Bake them a cake, buy them some gifts -
Show them so love - the only way a bovine can!
But who's this running over to me?
Is it my son who's found me?
Could he have been searching for me?
Why such rage in his face?
Oh crap I'm wearing a wizard's costume...
NO WAIT, SON, IT'S...

Part 9: Illustrious Conclusions
“He killed his own father!
This young bovine is really rough!!
The irony is not worth pointing out -
The consequences (however) will be tough!”
Woke up from this nightmare
Was it all but a dream?
Don't look out of the window
There's a cow, staring at me…
Jesus Christ, he's wearing a fucking Wizard's costume, oh God, I'm back in Shreve, help me, HELP ME…
“But where is this place?
This land of bizarre
Where the mystical meets the farmyard
And instead of the Moon, there is Mars
You may not believe in this tale
Just as the bovines do not believe in you
But always remember this warning:
I know what I like
And I like what I see
Just don't go trawling through wardrobes
If not in search for Shreve

Part 10: Coda
Forty days and forty nights
Lost in Shreve we lose our minds
Munch-munch-munch on a berry or two
The moral of this tale is screaming at you

“The morale of this tale
If there be one at all... don't go”