The People's Common Sense Medical Advisor By R.v. Pierce M.d. Lyrics & Chords By The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing

Oh i went to the hospital
'Cause i was feeling weird
I must have wait half a day
Before i got a seeing
The doctor wasn't sympathetic
But he had a beard
Spectacles were shiny
His hand were nice and clean
He looked me up and down
And then began to frown
He (??) up his finger
And drew a deep breath
He said that my condition
Had a medical definition
He looked sharp into my eye
And this is what he said
()
How many times a day do you masturbate
How frequently do you give in to the shame of self abuse
How often is your jizzing brought about through onanism
I sugest this self polution is the reason you're confused
Said that when i'm at home
I must leave my cock alone
My onanistic habits
Were the source of all my grief
He said that the (??)
Had made themselves insane
Through the act of self relief
I'm sorry doc, i mean, i'm not a learned man like you but i just don't see the conection.
Well, this is getting rather tiresome, please try and engage with the process.
Now answer, i'll ask one more time, ready?
Well, alright doc, you are the professional, i'll give it a go.
Good man.
It's amazing what's arousing
Once you've set you mind to douse
In the erotic flame that warms a boiler
Of your carnal parts
The slightest stimulation
So excites imagination
You find your hand inside your pants
And self polution starts
Look, maybe you don't understand the seriousness of the situation.
If I may refer to page 286 of The Peoples's Common Sense Medical Advisor.
That's the book you wrote isn't it, doc?
It is indeed, you can see my name on the spine there, Harvey Pierce MD, page 286 I said.
Untaught miseries arrive from the polution of the body, self polution or onanism is one of the most prolific sources of evil. Since it leads to both degradation of body and mind. The habit, once stablished, is overcome with the greatest difficulty. This vicious habit, often practiced by those ignorant of it's dangerous results. Statistics show that insanity is frequently caused by marturbation.
Fuckin hell.
Precisely.
Well doc, i think you've convinced me, showing me the error of my ways, the path has opened to me, so...
I'm gonna reduce the number of times a day I masturbate
Cut down the frequency of my shamefull self abuse
Bring about my jizzing through sex not onanism
I can see this self polution is the reason I'm confused
By god i think he's got it!
Thank you very much indeed, doctor!
No trouble at all.
I'll shake you by the hand.
I'd rather you didn't.
Alright, fair enough, anyway, see you later.
Goodbye. Nurse, could you send in the next patient, please.
Hello there, doc.
Hello, what seems to be the problem?
I've done me leg, i think it's, huh, i think it's broken.
Really... How many times a day do you masturbate?