Discussion Questions Lyrics & Chords By Jon Stewart

(Carlin:) Say, why not become a schmuck? A licensed, practicing schmuck. Or, if you qualify, a CPS. That's right. A certified public schmuck. Y'know, it may not seem like it when you...read more

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy Living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You...read more

I made love to ya all night long Then i got up to write you a song I watched ya sleep and i fell in love Ya must've been sent from heaven above Don't think you could never...read more

She likes to go hunting with her buddies She once killed a dear with just a stick She likes those smoky bars and rock gut whiskey And pull my fingers still her favorite trick ...read more

Performed by Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, and Jon Rosenburg Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You ...read more