The Menstrual Rag Lyrics & Chords By Amateur Transplants

Once a month your girl's upset
She goes to Boots to buy Lilets
It happens every 28 days
When she's in her Luteal phase
All she does in moan and nag
You go five days without a shag
There's no cunnilingus
You can only use your fingers
When she's using a menstrual rag

For the week or two preceeding
The days your other half is bleeding
The moody bitch is in a stress
Complaining about PMS and
When her womb has started sluffin
You won't be eatin any muffin
Two, four, six, eight
Come on girls, lets menstruate

Heavy flow or gentle spotting
Running down her legs or clotting
All that lining that she sheds leaves
Nasty patches on your bedsheets
Just don't waste your efforts pleading
You won't be shagging when she's bleeding
The Methenamic acid means you might as well be flaccid
When she's using a menstrual rag

It's hard to be all that devoted
When she is looking fat and bloated
From all the water she's retaining
While her pants have nasty staining
You won't be doing any groping
When she's losing haemoglobin
Two, four, six, eight
Come on girls, lets menstruate

Get those Bodyforms with wings
And grab your Tampax by the strings
And TENA lady's sanitary pads
Come on boys you've seen the ads
This dance is sweeping through the nation
Here's three cheers for menstruation
Its the latest craze
Every 28 days
They're all using a menstrual
Using a menstrual rag