Dorsal Horn Concerto Lyrics & Chords By Amateur Transplants

Ascites, Edema, Appendix, Anemia
Embolus, Embryo, Eczema, Chain-Stokes
Empathy, Apathy, Atopy, Allergy
Autism, Autopsy, Arthroscopes

Infarction, Infection, Induction, Injection
Inspection, Palpations, Phlebotomy, Mumps
Bicuspid, Bipolar, Bigeminy, Biceps
Teratogenic, Testicular Lumps

You must say things like:
Dysdiadochokinesia
You can't say things like:
The patient's unable to clap their hands quickly together
While turning one over and over and over and over and over
Otherwise they'd know what you meant
So you use Latin words instead
So the buggers'll never discover the meaning behind all the stuff that you said

Neurosis, Necrosis, Osmosis, Psychosis
Intestinal, Inguinal, Cystic Fibrosis
Lordosis, Kyphosis, PE, Halitosis
And Leptospirosis, Aortic Stenosis

Dyspeptic, Dyslexic, Dementia, Depression
Paralysis, Parasite, Pleura, Pellagra
Angina, Andrology, Antidote, Antigen
Ventricle, Vertigo, Vomit, Viagra

You must say things like:
Micturate, Defecate, Intercourse
You can't say things like:
Pissing and shitting and fuck
Although they're the same
Although it's a pain
You got to use the Latin name
Like:
Hematuria and steatorrhea, Cachexic, Pyrexic, Hepatic, and Splenic, Iatrogenic

But on the other hand
If they understand
The phrases that you say
Just confuse
And bemuse
By using eponymous names
Like:
Hunter's and Ehlers-Danlos, Hurler's and Turner's and Brown-Sequard
And if they understand that
Acronyms are twice as hard . . .
You need a:
BCG, ECG, ECT, EEG, PET, CBT, HRT!

Hematocrit, Hemorrhage, Hemorrhoid, Heparin
Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, Gross Hematemesis
Maxilla, Axilla, Macula, Papula
Spatula, Scapula, Spermatogenesis

Avoid saying nutcase and mental and lunatic
Fruitcake and screwy and mad
Terms like Bipolar and Frank Schizophrenia
Tend not to go down so bad

So these are the words that are used
But surgeons, of course, are excused
We can't have them getting confused!