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Drugs Are For Kids Lyrics & Chords By Doug Stanhope

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Chicago Chicago 18 I Believe (Bill Champlin) I used to be the first one to cry So afraid of a lonely tomorrow. Heartache was all that I had To call my own- so all alone. ...read more

"Tell the colonel he can kiss my ass. (sniffing) I smell bacon! ...the hell else is in the kitchen?" Elvis and I order Domino's pizza with extra cheese ...read more

San Francisco, thank you for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of. Oh San Francisco, my third favorite city to do comedy in. huh? That’s not bad right? Top ten...read more

Comedy is fun but I really, I really want to be a firefighter I want to be a firefighter so I can drive the fire SUV Cause I don't know what the fire SUV does when they get to the...read more

The other day, I got a cinanbon Do you know what a cinabon is? Let me explain cinabons for those of you with self-respect who just walk right by shit like that And have no idea...read more

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