A Child With Lawyers Lyrics & Chords By John Mulaney

The same way we made up the death penalty. We made them both up, Sanctity of life and the death penalty. Aren't we versatile? And you know, in this country, now there are alot of...read more

ants in the dark dance in the park crawling, creeping in the mud down under the hands of god serving all the mothers thirst bleeding from the mothers birth we await the...read more

So I was walking into whole foods recently, I don’t grocery shop there, it’s too expensive, but I love the smell of lavender so it’s where I get my laundry detergent. Normally...read more

[Scratches in] Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out. [Crowd laughs] ...read more

*crowd cheer* Thank you, thank you Thank you very much Uh, thank you. Hello, everybody I mean, by everybody I mean, uh, you guys I mean everybody who's here I shouldn't say...read more