Old Murders Lyrics & Chords By John Mulaney

YES!... Yes.yes.yes. Yes.Yes.Y-E-S. Yes. We are going to have a relationship tonight. I'm gonna go out with you. We're gunna date for a while. ...read more

If you call yourself a diva you better be a singer and not somebody cutting me in line. Oooh If you call yourself a diva you better sing a solo and not be someone...read more

So I was walking into whole foods recently, I don’t grocery shop there, it’s too expensive, but I love the smell of lavender so it’s where I get my laundry detergent. Normally...read more

[Scratches in] Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out. [Crowd laughs] ...read more

And sports needs steroids. It does are you kidding me, oh baseball certainly, baseball is a strike away from being soccer. And if you like soccer, well, welcome to America. See...read more