The Worse Word Lyrics & Chords By John Mulaney

[Scratches in] Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out. [Crowd laughs] ...read more

The same way we made up the death penalty. We made them both up, Sanctity of life and the death penalty. Aren't we versatile? And you know, in this country, now there are alot of...read more

*crowd cheer* Thank you, thank you Thank you very much Uh, thank you. Hello, everybody I mean, by everybody I mean, uh, you guys I mean everybody who's here I shouldn't say...read more

Now, if you’re following me on twitter you know I had diarrhea today. Am I using that website properly? Sometimes I like to sit on the toilet reverse. “We’re listening.” Its...read more

So I was walking into whole foods recently, I don’t grocery shop there, it’s too expensive, but I love the smell of lavender so it’s where I get my laundry detergent. Normally...read more